Tag: writing

Keep Writing

On By dphauthorIn You See MeLeave a comment

Why do you write?

Ah, the million dollar question.

Once you pronounce yourself a writer, you get this question a lot. The answers vary among writers and authors, but I’m here to tell you about mine in the hope that I’d get to convince you (yes, you!) to keep writing, no matter what.

I’ve written short stories from when I was a kid, in my native language. I seem to have lots of ideas back then & if I didn’t write them down, I’d draw them as comics. But my ‘real’ writing experience didn’t start then.

It started when I had my very first bad heartbreak. It was my first year of uni and I was unprepared for the reality that this person was not waiting for me. I became obsessed for a while, couldn’t think of anything else but him and how to get him back. It was unhealthy.

I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t watch any movie, because everything would just remind me of him. (I did read Harry Potter though, the 3rd book just came out. It was rainy and gloomy, perfect for my mood that time.) Music was the same. It was hard.

It went on for a few months, until I finally picked up a notebook and started writing… to myself. I started with something along these lines: ‘One day, my future self will look at this moment and laugh, maybe because we’d be together again, or maybe because I’d realize how ridiculously hopeless I was.’

I was still hopeful when I started writing into that notebook, treating it as unsent letters to him. After a while, the hopefulness changed into frustration, and afterwards, anger. It was ugly, full of downs and more downs. My handwriting was sometimes neat, sometimes jagged and the paper dented with the pressure I made while writing the angry words. Some pages were crumpled and dog-eared because of my tears they caught.

More months went by, and for whatever reason (maybe I was running out of pages), I started reading the notebook from the beginning again… and that was when I realized how silly I was for clinging on to him and our non-existent future together. 

After many times of doing this on repeat (writing, re-reading, writing, re-reading–my real life was pretty much on pause during those times), it was time for me to move on to the next stage.

I let it go. I let him go.

No one else has ever read those notes. I don’t even have them with me anymore, but that was a turning point for me. Why? Because I wrote it from the deepest corner of my heart. And what did I get out of it? Relief, mostly. I felt like I was healed.

That was when I knew that writing, for me, will never be for pleasing or impressing others. I do it to express myself, even when no one is around to read it.

Why should it be any different now when I write books? Why should I care if anyone read my books? It shouldn’t. It’s just a lovely bonus if someone did, that’s all.

The most important thing is that I’ve expressed what I wanted to express, let out what I wanted to shout from my heart. I know this sounds like a cliché, but ever since that ‘turning point’, when I write my stories, I pour my heart out to it. Like Voldemort and his Horcruxes, I put a slice of myself into my books, always.

To me, writing is personal. It’s a journey, much like life is, for each and every one of us. Some people let their journeys be shown to people, and in this case, they become the writers we know. Some journeys touch us, some are inspirational, and some don’t come anywhere near us. But that’s life. And even if these ‘invisible’ journeys don’t touch us, their journeys don’t end there.

Now, with 2 books out and a new Work In Progress (WIP) brewing, I can’t tell you how many times I thought of quitting. I don’t get enough sales, I want to quit putting my books out there. I read someone else’s book that is so good it makes me feel like an impostor, I want to lock myself in a room and mope. I get a less than 5-star rating for any of my books, I want to stop writing altogether.

But then I remember the question at the beginning of this post and ask it to myself. Why do I write? If I said I write to express myself, then what does all of the above (paragraph) matter? That’s right, it doesn’t. Those things: the sales, how my writing is perceived by others, the ratings/reviews–they are but a bonus. When I remember how ‘far’ I’ve come from only writing to myself to self-publishing 2 books and actually selling them to more than just 1 person, and even getting any ratings/reviews at all… this is much, much more than I ever dreamed of achieving from my writing journey.

I was here, and I wrote. I am still here, and I’m still writing.

And so are you. You were here, and maybe, you’ve written something. You are still here, now, and I hope you are still writing. Maybe, one day your writing will touch me, but even if they never will, at least they were written and you’ve expressed yourself through it. I’d like to think you’ve let yourself get healed this way.

So please, keep on writing. Do it for yourself.

The Difference Between Pink and Black

On By dphauthorIn Through Sweet Like Sugar, Through The Invisible Ones, You See MeLeave a comment

As much as I’d love to tell you that I am a pro in this whole writing thing, here is the truth: I am but a beginner. It’s now been a bit over a year since I ‘decided’ to go into this business, if we count the very first word I typed into the file that eventually became my first book.

Now, having independently published two books, I can do a comparison between them. Not the stories, of course, how can a parent ever compare their children? But the methods I used and the result of such methods.

If I’m not a pro, then why bother writing these down? The answer is: I’m doing this for my future self. By writing these things down, hopefully my future self will remember that I did learn something, even if it feels like nothing comes out of it.

If you are also a beginner, or you haven’t even started, and you happen to come across this post & learn something new, then I’d be glad to know that this writing also helps someone else. It’s a win-win situation. 😉

First things first: I started out with nothing but my own manuscript and a handful of trusted people from whom I asked for advice. I had no social media account for the book purposes, and only made one a few weeks before the launching of my first book. One might say this was my first mistake, and maybe one is right.

It would definitely help my book’s marketing if I already had an effective social media account with thousands of followers. But we’re not here to speculate & I’m merely stating the facts. The fact is, I didn’t have it then.

So what happened when I started posting about the launch of my first book in the brand-new social media account?

Nothing.

I had no followers, no likes, and no posts that could pull anyone to become a reader.

For the record, my social media account’s handle used to be the name of my first book. I had (and still have) no pictures of myself, no selfies. Could this also add to the problem? Maybe.

So my socializing attempt was a flop. My book launch was a flop, too. The (low) sales were all made by my family members & friends, which was of course very nice of them, but when it came to getting reviews–I’m sorry to say–it’s pretty much non-existent. And we all know how important reviews are for an independent/self-publishing author.

And they really are important, the reviews. But even with low sales and even lower number of reviews, I decided to keep it ‘organic’ and not ask for anyone to read my book just for the sake of getting the reviews.

Having my book listed in the Kindle Unlimited gave me the opportunity to put my e-book up for Countdown & Free promotions. So I used the Countdown promo 5 months after the launch of my first book, making my e-book cost 99 cents for 72 hours. By this time, I had about 100+ followers on my social media account.

This proved to be a flop, too, and brought in only 1 sale.

Soon after, I changed the handle of my social media account to be my author name. I still don’t post any selfie there, but changing the handle made the account feel more human, and I felt like I had more freedom to post things unrelated to my first book (but related to writing in general). And since at that point I was writing my second book, it seemed natural to change it.

About 2,5 months since the Countdown promo, I decided to try the Free promo.

Needless to say, this time it was a success compared to the Countdown one. This was the first time I realized that my first book was actually interesting enough for people–other than my friends & family–to want to read, if only they didn’t need to pay for it. Which makes perfect sense, because, hello? Who am I again in the writing world?

This lifted my mood and I did it again as soon as I had my next chance, and finally, after several times of the Free promo, the reviews from new readers–people I did not know prior to writing/selling the book–started to pour in.

So yes, this experience made me learn that I shouldn’t be stingy when it comes to letting people read my book. I should forget all about the money, because the truth is, when someone is just starting out (the indie/self-pub way), no one would’ve heard about him/her. I don’t mean I should sell myself short, no, of course not. But spreading my work and finding my readers/market is more important than making money.

The reviews for my first book kept alive my will to write, and as I was finishing my second book’s manuscript, I decided it was time for me to try another method: asking people to beta read my second book.

As mentioned before, I didn’t have anything but my manuscript for my first book. This time around, though, I had about 300+ followers on my social media account, and a few fellow indie/self-pub authors that I felt comfortable sharing my second manuscript with. Some of them have read my first book and gave it good reviews, so I felt 80% sure that they would ‘get’ my second book (and maybe even like it–that’d be a great bonus). I asked them nicely and when they said yes, I prepared a list of things I wanted them to especially pay attention to when reading the manuscript.

Out of 5 beta readers (I still kept it to a minimum number), 3 gave me outstanding feedback, 1 didn’t really like it, and 1 never came back to me with any feedback. It was enough for me to go forward, so as a cherry on top, I asked the ones who did gave me their feedback if they’d be willing to write short endorsements. Some of them agreed and their endorsements are now at the back cover of my second book.

Not long after that, I published my second book, and instantly gained 4 first reviews from my beta readers. I did not ask them to do it, but I was blessed with such kind-hearted beta readers.

During the launch of my second book, I also had a giveaway contest to allure people to enter to win my second book. I would’ve thought the ‘free book’ words would win people over, but I was wrong again, for a good reason: the people who would actually read my book preferred to buy my book rather than enter my giveaway contest! 😅 That was a nice surprise!

I did still get enough entries in the end, and 4 people were given my second book for free. Out of these, 3 gave reviews (again, because they wanted to).

Now, 3 months has passed since my second book was launched and the sales number are somewhat similar to my first book’s first 3 months’ sale… but guess what? I don’t even know most of the buyers. 😁 With my first book, I knew exactly who bought them, because they were my family members & friends. Now, I can’t even tell who has bought my second book until suddenly a new review comes up.

While sales are still slow, I have to admit that using the help of beta readers was a good decision for me, even if it’s ‘only’ to get reviews. As of date, I have gotten more reviews for my second book in half the time it took for my first book to get 6 reviews.

Let’s face it, without having thousands of followers in social media and going through the traditional publishing or paying for a professional advertisement/marketing service, sales will probably always be slow and low. To tell the truth, I didn’t even expect to sell any book for my second one, except for (again) my immediate family members.

But I proved myself wrong, and that made me so happy.

And, let me remind you again: everything I’ve done for my book so far have been for free. I have not paid anyone or any party for anything at all.

I have no plans yet for any Countdown or Free promo for my second book. The second book’s regular price is already cheaper than the first one, which is one of the reasons why I’m still thinking about it. But who knows? Remembering I shouldn’t be stingy about spreading my work, I probably will end up doing it one day.

Thank you for reading this long post. ❤ My journey in the writing world & my books’ journeys shall continue no matter what, and if you’re also an indie/self-pub author, hopefully your journey continues after reading this.

To read the reviews of my books on Goodreads or leave your review (yay!), click here.

To purchase my book(s), click here.

Winner

On By dphauthorIn You See MeLeave a comment

I love libraries. I’ve been going to one, even before I could read. My mother, sister, and I would go to the only library available for public near our home, which only had Dutch books. We would borrow children books and my mother would read them at night before we slept. I didn’t (and still don’t) speak or read Dutch, but I loved hearing the stories and seeing the images on the book.

When I moved here to my current hometown, I didn’t have any job/school to attend to and I couldn’t speak this country’s language yet. But there was a big library near my house with all kinds of English books, and I went there almost every day to spend my time with the books. To have access to millions of books for free was like a dream come true to me.

Thirteen years later, I self-published my own book, Sweet Like Sugar. Last summer, when I went to the biggest and coolest library near my current hometown, I took a picture of the ‘Mystery & Thriller books’ shelf, secretly wishing that one day, I would see my own book bearing my author name there.

Little did I know then that my wish was coming true.

Two weeks before the deadline, I came across an ad of a writing competition organized by the city library. The theme was called ‘Tapahtuiko murha?’ (Was There Murder?), a crime/possible crime genre, and it was a short story (8000 words or less) writing competition in Finnish, Swedish, and English. There would be 10 winners, whose winning works would be published in an anthology book.

Having just self-published a book that falls under the same category, after panicking a moment (2 weeks?!?) I finally decided to enter it with a brand new story.

I found out that it wasn’t impossible to create a story and write 8000 words in 2 weeks. I thought that even if I didn’t make it to the winner list, I’d have one good story in my pocket for rainy days.

Imagine my pleasant surprise when I got a letter from them, saying that I was one of those 10 winners.

The best thing about this (other than having my work published) is that I also got to hear what the judges think about my writing. Their exact words were ‘Hyvällä tyylitajulla kirjoitettu kunnianhimoinen novelli’. An ambitious short story written with a good sense of style. 🖤

Other than my own family and friends, I had never had a chance to hear a review of my writing from a total stranger, so this made me realize that maybe I am not such a bad writer after all. Maybe what I’m doing, writing stories over stories, is actually worth it. And maybe it’s okay to dream big, because you’ll never know where you might land one day. 😊

The anthology book will be published next year as part of the city library’s collection.

Click here to see the competition’s result and more info about the competition (in Finnish).

Playing God

On By dphauthorIn I See You, Sweet Like Sugar, Through Sweet Like Sugar, You See MeLeave a comment

The best thing about being a writer, in my opinion, is that you get to play god.

You decide what happens to your character, who dies, who lives, who’s happy, and who’s sad. You decide what your character says, does, wears, eats, drinks, and so on.

Things you may not be able to do in your own life, you can do in your book, through your character.

For example, in real life, I can’t have a dog. I do take care of some of our relatives’/friends’ dogs now and then, but due to my work, I can’t have my own dog. Not yet. And it’s sad, because I’d love to have one.

So I dreamed up a dog and put it into my novel.

I love it. I love the imaginary dog. Through my character(s), I play with it, feed it, and walk it around. It was hard when I had to end my story, because every book has to have an ending. But who knows? I might one day be able to have an actual dog, just like the imaginary one I made.

If you’ve always dreamed of having something nice that you can’t quite have yet, it helps to write it down sometimes. You can be creative about it, visualize it to be as realistic or far-fetched as possible. It’s a fun and harmless way of playing god. At least for me, it also somewhat relieves the itch and craving.

Then, one day, when you finally get to have that nice thing, whatever it is, imagine how fun it would be to read what you’ve written those many years ago.

Never Be Normal

On By dphauthorIn You See MeLeave a comment

If you have gone to my (book’s) Instagram account or Facebook Page, you would have noticed something by now. That’s right, I, the author of Sweet Like Sugar, stay hidden behind my book.

Well, I’m here to assure you that I am real. 🙂

Why, then, am I being so secretive about myself? Shouldn’t I be out there, to promote myself, show people how happy I am being a writer and so on? Other authors, indie or not, do this, right?

Perhaps I am old-fashioned or you can call me naïve, but I have only wished my book to go far, not because you see how I look like, see my day-to-day activity, and feel like you could be my friend. I mean, I would be happy if you feel like you could be my friend! But for my book, I need to know that people and its readers like it because of the book itself, and nothing else. And if nobody does like it because of whatever reason, that’s okay, too. At least I know that I stayed true to myself and that’s what’s important to me.

Does that sound abnormal? I guess it does, even to myself. I’m not special, and who the h**l is D. P. Haka anyway? Nobody has heard of that name.

But I have another confession to make. Before coming upon The Thirteenth Tale or Geek Love, I had also never heard of Diane Setterfield or Katherine Dunn. And to this date, I don’t follow them in social media either. It didn’t stop me from reading their books and eventually falling in love with them … the books, I mean.

I know who I am, and that is enough for now. I am far from normal, but who says we have to be normal anyway?

I’d like to clarify, though, that I really admire all the writers out there, indie or mainstream, self-published or not, who put themselves all out in their own channels. It takes courage to do that, and maybe that way is working best for them for reaching their goals.

As for me and my unconventional way, it’s an untrodden path that I can’t say yet if it’s working or not. But if a few years from now you don’t hear from me anymore … well, then you know what that means! 😀

Stay special and stay true to yourself, people!

The End

On By dphauthorIn Through Sweet Like Sugar, You See MeLeave a comment

I’m not writing about the end of my writing journey. This is something more of a reflection.

Looking back at the stuffs I had written (and never see the light of day), since my manga days, I realize that I have always had the same problem: ending the story.

I love writing and making up stories (duh, who doesn’t?). Whenever I get an idea, I’d get excited about it and start writing … and before I know it, I’m already on page 100. In my daily job, I have the same problem. When writing a work-related email to anyone, I just end up writing a short story instead of an email.

But anyway, back to the topic. I have a confession to make: out of hundreds of stories I’ve made up all my life (including the mangas), the ones that actually have proper endings are but 4 stories. Out of those 4, 2 are short stories. Something must be wrong with me, right?

I thought so, too. Until lately, say, for the past 15 years, I keep running into books that have vague endings. You know, the kind where the story hangs mid-air, and you flip to the next page and find out that that is it, and it leaves you feeling unsatisfied because, well, where’s the ending?!? You’ve spent hours reading it, and then the end is not an end at all. I feel like the authors of that kind of books may have the same problem as I do in terms of ending a story.

Some people like it, I guess, because they are free to imagine what the ending actually is. But, pardon me for being old-fashioned, in my opinion, if you’ve made a story to which people actually invest their time (and money, no matter how small) to read or follow, you’re obliged to give a proper ending to the story. Give your audience a closure. And I don’t mean a vague one, but how you, as the author, want it to end.

A few years ago, I ran across a book called The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. I do like the story of the book, but the thing that made me love the book is the fact that the main character of the book said the one thing that is, in my opinion, very important in writing a story: for it to have a beginning, the main story itself, and then, of course, a proper ending.

Ever since reading that book, I try to keep that in mind, and always give a proper ending to my stories. Those 4 stories that I told you about? Those were done after reading The Thirteenth Tale.

If you have gotten my book, you’d see that I even divided the chapters that way: the beginning, the main story, and the ending. It’s hard to end a story, believe me, I should know. Most of the time, I just want to keep it going! Or then, even worse, I don’t even know how to end it, ha! But all things must come to an end, and I find that it’s sometimes easier to do things backwards, as in first find an ending you want, and work your way to the beginning from there.

Now, to end this post, as a newbie author I promise that whenever you read my book, I will have a proper ending for you. No vague, free-to-imagine kind of endings from me, ever.

 

The Cover

On By dphauthorIn Through Sweet Like Sugar, You See MeLeave a comment

Guess what? The D-day is in 12 days!

Time for ‘last-minute’ checks and preparations for me, but I want to give a small update here in my blog.

As mentioned on previous posts, the book will be available in paperback and e-book version. Once they are launched, I will post the links here. And now I can safely say that they will be published on the same day.

So when will that be, exactly? June 27th, 2019.

And just to make sure you won’t buy the wrong book, here’s what the cover of my book looks like.

 

To Have And To Hold

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When I was still writing the book, the thought of holding it in its physical form seemed far-fetched.

But now the proof print of my book is right here in front of me, proving it further that nothing is really far-fetched if you put your mind to it.

17 days from now, the book will finally be ready for the world.

It will be ready for all of you, to have and to hold.

PS. If you prefer to read it from your phone or tablet, the digital version of the book will also be available starting from the same day.